Updated: Jul 14, 2021
I didn't grow up with much dating guidance other than don’t ever have sex and you’re not allowed to date, PERIODT. So when I did "begin" (my parents will read this lol) to seriously date in college, I didn’t have much focus on purpose other than having a good looking tall boyfriend that treated me with respect, had his ducks in a row, and could eventually become my husband. After my first "adult" heartbreak my freshman year, I was not about that boyfriend life, but that's another story for a different blog entry. I had, what I now know and refer to as, a shore level understanding of Godly relationships and marriage which ultimately shaped the way I dated.
From age 10 into my late 20s something or someone kept me distracted from my desire to grow in my relationship with Christ. In marriage it was my submission to being spiritually led by someone that had no desire to lead in that area. However, I desired to be led by my spouse because I perceived him to have a deeper level of understanding and relationship with Christ than I. It was a recipe for disaster & further distraction. However, the experience taught me some hard but necessary lessons.
Here are just a few: (please make sure you credit @itstheloveway when you tweet, share, post my gems for the win & other content. Share the love and build the community)
Having a spiritual leader for a partner isn't a substitute for having or trusting your sense of direction. (this one hits me in my spirit every time I say it) In relationship both parties should have the ability to lead and be led. Times will arise when each of you will need to step into the role of leader.
Do not wait for someone else to lead you to where God is calling you. That desire I had all those years was a call. LOVEWAY is the answer. (I'm not crying)
A man that can't lead himself can't lead you. If either of you aren’t lead by the spirit of Christ you’re setting yourself up for wandering in the wilderness.
God is a jealous God. Anything and anyone you put before your relationship with God becomes an idol. Which violates the 1st and 2nd commandments found in Exodus Chapter 20.
When God can't keep your attention, He'll disrupt what does.
The following are the top 5 faith based books that have helped me, and that I believe will help to guide you in "Dating With Godly Intent" & winning in your relationship. Whatever state of relationship you're in, including marriage, these books are for you.
Amazon links provided. #itstheloveway
The Holy Bible - The most important relationship you will have is your relationship with Jesus Christ. Your relationship with Christ sets the foundation for how you navigate in relationship with others. Love as Jesus loves you. Loving someone else begins first with loving God and yourself.
The Bait of Satan by John Bevere - Forgive and learn how to live free from offense that causes a hardened heart. (click the link to view a sample reading)
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman Ever felt like you and your partner are struggling to keep your love tanks full? Learn and understand your love language and how to speak the love languages of others. The love languages apply in non romantic relationships as well. (click the link to view a sample reading)
The Power of a Praying Wife & The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian - Don't wait until marriage to learn how to pray for your spouse. Cover your current or future spouse in 31different areas with the prayers provided at the end of each chapter. What I love most about this book is how it uses real life examples to teach you that God speaks to you about you. You can't change a person, only God can do that. But you can pray for God's strength and covering in the areas where your spouse is weak. In the midst you'll learn more about yourself as a spouse and where God is trying to change you. These two make great engagement and wedding gifts!
(click the link to view the first 28 pages)
Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans - marriage should be fulfilling for both you & your spouse, and serve God. Learn how to connect God's purpose with your pleasure. (click the link to view a sample reading)
Bonus: Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd (click the link to view a sample reading)
Drop a comment, like, and share. Which book will you read first? Have you read any of these books already? If so, comment a review below.
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